I was reminded last night of how awesome God is. Yesterday, was sunny and warm, then last night a huge windstorm hit, lightning, some hard rain. And I love storms but this was harsher then most. So last night I got to see lightning go across the African sky, I was sitting on my roommates bed and just watching it. The electricity had gone out, everything was dark and you could only see the lightning bolts. And as I'm sitting there in awe of how awesome God is, the beauty of it was amazing(and at times slightly terrifying). The bolts would light up the sky, and sometimes they were behind the clouds so you could see through the clouds almost. Then this morning it was like it never existed, except for some trees down, and scattered branches. It was like God was just saying "Here I am"!
There is book I read growing up, an Easter children's book. It's about this girl who was given some seeds to plant by her father, and she was rather sad about it because she wanted something better, so she put the seeds in a box, in the dirt,in the cellar and forgot about them. Finally, she just threw them out in the garden because she was so mad, and on Easter morning there were the flowers, beautiful lillies and she was so excited. That's me. Back home I put God on the shelf and forget about him, and only bring Him out when I need to. Not just in the hard times, I often say its because I can't see him. I'm someone who needs to see things to remember. I guess that's my excuse, but He's given me a reminder, the wind. Just about every prayer group, worship session, or anything, randomly a gust of wind will come through, and Gods just reminding me. But he's showing himself more and more.
I don't like the Old Testemant. Never really have. And as base we are reading it together in "Home Cell" groups. Right now we are in 1 Samuel, but it's been so interesting to see the cycle of the Israelites. I'm sitting there going, "What the heck are you thinking, how many times do you have to learn the same lesson?". And it hit me, that's us and God is watching us going how many times do I have to show you, how many times do we have to go through this? Even in my class I have to repeat things it seems fifty million times and it's like, do we seriously have to do this again. And I'm the Israelites, there was one lesson in particular growing up that I had to learn a lot. ALOT! And I'm sure my parents were saying the exact same thing "Seriously, we have to go through this again". So how many times does God have to prove himself to me? How many times do I have to be reminded? How many times does my "Dad" have to punish me to get in my head? How many times do I have a altar to a "god/idol" that I build unconciously? How many times do we as Christians decide and think that God isn't enough to get us out of our problem? A lot. I also realized I'm Saul. Saul cared about what the people thought of him and that was his downfall. Not what God thought. It goes back to my last post..."Who Cares". I'm learning not to care, learning is the key word.
We took tests on our "Motivational Gifts" and how God designed us. I the test I was high in Serving and Exhortation, and in another test I was high in Mercy but low in Exhortation. Anyway, they broke the down and gave a description and the pros and cons to them, as well as the traits found in children. I'm sitting there listening to the descriptions and I have never felt so pin pointed in personality in my life as I'm reading and listening to Mercy and Serving. I was like "Gee, I don't feel as crazy, that's why I respond that way". It' doesn't always make it right, but it explains, why I am who I am. And I react the way I react. But I realized. I'm a people person, and I never want Satan to let that be my downfall. I want to care only what God thinks, and like David be after Gods heart. What made David so amazing wasn't that he hardly sinned. It was that when he sinned he repented. He worshiped. He knew God intimatley. Are we that way?
God has consistently been reminding me of his majesty, in the children, the beauty, in my work. Is it glamorous? Far from it. Are there times I'm grumbling while doing my job? Yes. But He has always been sovereign. About the time I think I don't have the energy, He gives it to me. About the time I'm grumbling, He reminds me of why I'm there. And about the time I'm frustrated and down hearted I see a child smile. Gods here in this school. He's here in the orphanage. He's here in Africa, and the world. He's the Potter, Painter, and the Sculptor. And the Master is teaching me that the trick isn't where you go that day. It's how you go about the day. It's if you seek out his creation and see him in it. Then you will see the wonders that He created. And only be in more awe, and just be able to take a peek of his limitless glory.
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