To Hear The Voice That Sends: Crash of the Habits and Convictions

There are so many things I want to talk about and post, things that I have done. But, over the last few days the Holy Spirit has been definitely been convicting me in certain areas of my life. My hunger for Christ has definitely grown, but so has my laziness. I've had so much time to dig into the Word and spend "coffee dates", and yet my laziness has been counteracting. I want to be on that intimate level with my Savior and yet I don't want to commit time to build my relationship. What's sad is that it's a conscience decision that I have been making, and some are habits I need to get out off, I don't need to sleep in till 8:00 and then move on with my day. Also, my characters are crashing so much. Like the devil and the angel on each shoulder, but instead it's so stupid. I find myself worrying and thinking of wordily things, like what I look like, wanting to be on top of the newest entertainment gossip, and what the latest fashion is. And yet right down the road there are children with three pairs of clothes and I'm frusterated about the fact that I have seven nice shirts and two pair of jeans. It's caused me to realize how much I get caught up even here about the worlds definition of a eighteen year-old girl.

This past week we went camping ,we walked up to a water fall and a few minutes afterwards another group comes up, and the girls were wearing bikinis. I frankly was not okay with it, nor were any of the us girls. I thought it was very rude and inconsiderate of the men in our group. And, I realized that I hadn't seen a girl in a bikini in three months. In being three months away from something how my attitude had been changed. I know my attitude toward most things have changed, looking back on the perversity of the television shows I watched, I'm disgusted that I let my mind go there. And they were the cleanest of modern TV shows. My life is supposed to stand out, and yet I don't have a problem blending in with the crowd. I should be a eighteen year-old repulsed by the fact that it's not uncommon for a young teenage girls to think they have to look perfect for any guy to want them, which I can honestly say I fall for that still. But seriously I should be repulsed by the world yet until now everything was just the norm. Also I have been so caught in me, the Holy Spirit showed me the other day that I don't have a heart for evangelism, I used to, but what has happened that I haven't been worried about someone else's salvation?

Another realizations, in three months I haven't, had an ice coffee, watched television, read a People Magazine, had a soft pretzel, hung out with my friends back home, I don't have air condition, haven't driven a car and I've only been to a mall once(which was three hours a way). And guess what? I'm alive! I'm not half dead because of it. Do I miss an ice coffee? Yes, but I can do without it. It's not a matter of life of death. Funny how things change when your not around them.

Nwanedi

Nwanedi is a game reserve first off. We went there the day after Christmas for three days. Wednesday we hiked up a "hill" ,which was a very steep hill, to see the view. Then we saw TWO Rhino, to give you back story, you never see Rhino. As the locals say, "the Rhino are going to sleep", poachers are killing them for their horn. Actually the dart them, take an axe to the horn and leave them there to bleed to death. So that being said in there are hardly any Rhino, on top of the fact they are very recluse animals. We had been praying to see one, and that day we saw Rhino! God is so awesome, who new you could have such a testimony with Rhinos. Thursday we walked up to a waterfall and swam, jumped off of cliffs into the water, and tubed down the water for four hours. Then went back home and woke up to monkeys having a fight in the middle of our campsite. And then Friday we went caving, and rock climbing. During all this we camped in tents with monkeys and baboons, who also got into a fight in the middle of the camp at five o'clock in the morning.