Crash of the Habits and Convictions

There are so many things I want to talk about and post, things that I have done.  But, over the last few days the Holy Spirit has been definitely been convicting  me in certain areas of my life. My hunger for Christ has definitely grown, but so has my laziness. I've had so much time to dig into the Word and spend "coffee dates", and yet my laziness has been counteracting. I want to be on that intimate level with my Savior and yet I don't want to commit time to build my relationship.  What's sad is that it's a conscience decision that I have been making, and some are habits I need to get out off, I don't need to sleep in till 8:00 and then move on with my day. Also, my characters are crashing so much. Like the devil and the angel on each shoulder, but instead it's so stupid. I find myself worrying and thinking of wordily things, like what I look like, wanting to be on top of the newest entertainment gossip, and what the latest fashion is. And yet right down the road there are children with three pairs of clothes and I'm frusterated about the fact that I have seven nice shirts and two pair of jeans. It's caused me to realize how much I get caught up even here about the worlds definition of a eighteen year-old girl. 

This past week we went camping ,we walked up to a water fall and a few minutes afterwards another group comes up, and the girls were wearing bikinis. I frankly was not okay with it, nor were any of the us girls. I thought it was very rude and inconsiderate of the men in our group. And, I realized that I hadn't seen a girl in a bikini in three months. In being three months away from something how my attitude had been changed. I know my attitude toward most things have changed, looking back on the perversity of the television shows I watched, I'm disgusted that I let my mind go there. And they were the cleanest of modern TV shows.  My life is supposed to stand out, and yet I don't have a problem blending in with the crowd. I should be a eighteen year-old repulsed by the fact that it's not uncommon for a young teenage girls to think they have to look perfect for any guy to want them, which I can honestly say I fall for that still. But seriously I should be repulsed by the world yet until now everything was just the norm. Also I have been so caught in me, the Holy Spirit showed me the other day that I don't have a heart for evangelism, I used to, but what has happened that I haven't been worried about someone else's salvation? 

Another realizations, in three months I haven't, had an ice coffee, watched television, read a People Magazine, had a soft pretzel, hung out with my friends back home, I don't have air condition, haven't driven a car and I've only been to a mall once(which was three hours a way). And guess what? I'm alive! I'm not half dead because of it. Do I miss an ice coffee? Yes, but I can do without it. It's not a matter of life of death. Funny how things change when your not around them.   

Nwanedi

Nwanedi is a game reserve first off. We went there the day after Christmas for three days. Wednesday we hiked up a "hill" ,which was a very steep hill, to see the view. Then we saw TWO Rhino, to give you back story, you never see Rhino. As the locals say, "the Rhino are going to sleep", poachers are killing them for their horn. Actually the dart them, take an axe to the horn and leave them there to bleed to death. So that being said in there are hardly any Rhino, on top of the fact they are very recluse animals. We had been praying to see one, and that day we saw Rhino! God is so awesome, who new you could have such a testimony with Rhinos. Thursday we walked up to a waterfall and swam, jumped off of cliffs into the water, and tubed down the water for four hours. Then went back home and woke up to monkeys having a fight in the middle of our campsite. And then Friday we went caving, and rock climbing. During all this we camped in tents with monkeys and baboons, who also got into a fight in the middle of the camp at five o'clock in the morning.  

                                              A meerkat or mongoose, we couldn't decide.

                                           Wildabeasts

                                            Vhutu tubing down the waterfall.

                                               Riding on the Land Rover. Oh Robbie.

A pure heart is one to which all that is not of God is strange and jarring. - Tauler

Blou-berg

I'm writing where it feels I'm top of the world. It's one of those places that no picture can do it justice. It looks like a screen saver. I'm sitting and thinking its a once in a life time chance. And how gorgeous it is. No adjectives can describe. And how many other places are like this in the world? The places that literally scream God and his wonder. I'm always awestruck at the night sky. The stars and how brightly they shine. It makes me think that God has this black fabric over the earth at night and he pokes holes so the light of heaven can come through. I cant believe I hiked three hours up a mountain in Africa and I'm in a tent on top. The sun is amazing here.  The sun set I can only imagine to be better. I'm realizing the wanderlust of people.  How can people not believe in God? When you see the awesome landscapes and the beauty of the mountains, how can you not.  And an African sunset. Oohhhh no picture can do any of it justice. The wind. The African rainstorms.  - Journal entry




We hiked to the top of the highest peak in the Limpopo Province, a mile high and five miles to get there, most of it we got up on the first day. The plan had been to stay on the very top, but it was getting dark so we pitched camp a little early. I had considered what the ground was going to be like, where the flattest spot was with as little bumps as possible when setting up our tent, but I hadn't considered the wind. We stayed and looked at the stars for a while before going to bed, they were gorgeous, once in our tent the wind started caving the tent in it was so strong. Courtney and I figured how to make it work, we put our headphones in and were finally going to sleep when we heard "Courtney!". Well she heard it at least, I was already asleep except I felt bumping and a lot of moving around, and in my mind Courtney was getting a little to close. Turned out Shea and Kristen had pitched their tent a little below us beside a rock so the wind wouldn't be so bad, the wind basically created a vortex and broke the tent. So all four of us were in a four men tent, which the "four men tent" is really for three people or two people and their belongings. But luckily it was cold outside so we were nice and warm.

Next morning had breakfast, and hiked about an hour more up to the top. And was so beautiful!!! You could see for miles in Africa. It's amazing the sights I've seen when it comes to the mountains here, it doesn't seem like Africa. Some seem like I'm in Ireland or Scotland others seem like Australia.

On the way back down my shoe was falling apart the sole was coming off so, we used hair bands to hold it on and every thirty minutes I'd have to stop to fix it. And they weren't even my shoes. I felt so terrible. Most of the the hike we literally rocked climbed up and rock climbed down. At one point we were hanging of the side of a mountain with no ropes attached. But I can say this, it was AMAZING!!!! My adventure streak is so coming out more and more. There were a couple things that made it better, 1) there is no water facets up there, we were literally in the middle of no where so we got our water from the mountain spring, and the many waterfalls. 2) I had been struggling up, I had gotten overheated and at one point was like I can't do this. We got to our camp site and after setting up I went with my Bible to a rock and read. I opened it and came across Jeremiah 12:5 "If you have raced with men on foot
and they have worn you out,
how can you compete with horses?
If you stumble in safe country,
how will you manage in the thickets by the Jordan?"
So that being said I decided I needed to work out more for the next hike. Amazing what God shows you.





Okay so that was the hiking trip. As you know we are on base and have a holiday, we've been doing little odd jobs and we got to pave the preschool with bricks! So cool!!!! But Thursday we drove three hours and went to the mall. First thing we did was get a fresh "Cinnabon", oh we were so happy! We drew names for presents so we went shopping. I had Eggs Benedict( my favorite) and strong, none instant coffee for lunch. Best lunch ever! Then Jordan, Courtney and I all went to go see the "Hobbit". Haha, we got in and sat down and the movies started "Well Frodo, its time I tell you a story(however it starts)"....screen goes green....for thirty minutes. And all I could think was TIA( this is Africa), so once they got back working they skipped through the previews, and started the movie again! And all I can say is, it was awesome!!!! Best movie I had seen in a while. It was a nice breath fresh air to be able to go through the mall alone, do what I wanted to do, go see a movie, hang out with Courtney and have lunch with the girls. All the while knowing I could break off by myself if I wanted. Freedom as a female I'm learning is something I've taken for granted. We can't go anywhere off base without a guy and we can't go with a guy by ourselves so we have to go in threes. I knew coming here and being in Kenya that was going to happen, but it never occurred to me how long of it. The mall was decked out in Christmas decorations and Christmas music in the back ground. "I'll Be Home for Christmas" is another thing bringing on a whole new meaning. I'm not as home sick as I thought, my heavenly Father has blessed me in that. But I know I'm where he wants and I think that's one reason I'm not as homesick. Plus, I can keep in contact very easily. Merry Christmas!!! The pictures below are of the hike, I'll try to do them in order of time. Starting from the beginning...a very good place to start.

Coffee Dates and Bricks

"Don't let this be your America" one of the many things I was told in the first months of being here.  My response on the other hand was "I've got it under control". Oh, how I so don't.  We're on break for a month and although we have stuff to do, its very refreshing because you don't have to do as much.  Sleeping in is one thing that's wonderful, which this past week sleeping in has been 8:00. And that gives me a half an hour to get ready. And I realized something last night, although being around Godly people, constantly hearing about faith and scripture, He's been missing from my life. Truly.  Maybe in the day when I want to or feel like it. But I'll admit there are times I feel lonely.  I was writing in my journal last night what I missed having about having friends that have known me forever and I'm looking at the list and it hit me, all this time I've been feeling sorry for myself and caught up in me, Gods been trying to show me that I'm not lonely. He's been right there every-time I've cried, every time I've laughed at myself and every time I've been frustrated. Juvenile? Maybe. But how many times do we as humans get so caught up in our own lives that we've blocked God out through pity parties?  I've let these past months be wasted, pretty much. Yes, I've learned things but I haven't been giving Him my everything at all times. I don't want to come back the same person I left as, if that's the case I shouldn't have come. It's funny when you hear statements made and its not that big of a deal, but when God hits you in the head with a brick of a conviction then it's huge.  Sometimes I think statements being made around us and the convictions of others are God's way of hinting what he wants us to find out. But sometimes it takes a conviction of our own to get the point across. And that seems to be what he's been doing lately. Hitting me in the head. So now I have "coffee/tea dates" in the morning. Just me, a cup of coffee/tea, my journal, my Bible and the Holy Spirit.

 With school being out its very quiet around here, for the most part. We are going hiking/camping tomorrow. Hike up a mountain then sleep up there and hike back down. Tomorrow morning though we are doing outreach in the little village, below the mountain. So excited!!! For camping, but mainly what's going to happen tomorrow morning. Also we are going camping again the day after Christmas for a couple of days in Nwendi. And there will be waterfalls to jump off of!

 We've switched roommates. Which is a normal thing every three months.  There is only two guys so, they don't get the privilege of switching rooms. :) But us four girls...we get the privilege! I'll keep you posted on everything.

Prayer requests: boldness and obedience to say or do whatever he lays on my heart and the teams, to always be in the right heart no matter what I do, or where I go. To listen to the Holy Spirit, go where God moves me emotionally, spiritually, and literally.

To everybody at HFBC and "The Meeting Place", I love and miss you guys so much. I'm so thankful for all your encouragement, prayers and concerns.

 

Merry Christmas

So it's Christmas time. And it's flat, not cold, and very few trees. I can't see my breath at night, I'm not in sweaters, there is no Christmas music in the stores, no Christmas trees. And yes no Christmas movies with my mother. And I'm not in the Christmas spirit at all because I don't have those things? So have I truly been in the Christmas spirit over these past years? Is it the true Christmas?

If you think about Jesus, was not born most likely on a cold night. There wasn't electricity for the lights, no Christmas trees. And probably the only music going on could have been a Bar Mitzvah going on down the road. Just a normal night. People going around their normal duties that day, men working and woman panicking of where to put so many people. So what's the Spirit of Christmas? Not snow and lights, not Santa Claus, and not Christmas songs. If we think about it's a miracle, salvation, and humility. A miracle that a He was born of a virgin. Salvation, because he was born for you and me. Can you imagine God as a baby? A God so great and awe-some that we can't even imagine, came as a weak, vulnerable and innocent baby. Humility, he came born of a peasant. In a stinky, loud, barn. He slept in a feed trough. And we get frustrated if our mattress is uncomfortable.

The Carpenter of the universe was born to a Carpenter of wood. He had shepherds, the lowly of the low, come to visit him. If you look at the story of Christ birth it's very opposite. At his birth he had shepherds, then later he had Kings. Doesn't that totally encompass who He is? The King of Kings visited by earthly kings was born in a feed trough. He ate with the lowly, he touched the normal people, the poor, not the rich most of the time.

It's not beginning to look like Christmas every where you go. There are hardly Christmas decorations. But people here know that's Christmas.
Think about your birthday or someone else's birthday. It's special. That person is honored, their life is celebrated. Can we honestly say we do that for Christ. Or do we honor the presents and celebrate Santa Claus? There's nothing wrong with them. Please don't get me wrong. But where is your heart at Christmas? What's it focused on? I wanted to write this anyway but I found a song that sums all this up.

What if ribbons and bows didn't mean a thing
Would the song still survive without five golden rings
Would you still wanna kiss without misletoe
What would happen if God never let it snow
What would happen if Christmas carols told a lie
Tell me what would you find

You'd see that today holds something special
Something holy, not superficial
So here's to the birthday boy who saved our lives
It's something we all try to ignore
And put a wreath up on your door
So here's something you should know that is for sure
Christmas must be something more

What if angels did not pay attention to
All the things that we wished they would always do
What if happiness came in a cardboard box
Then I think there is something we all forgot
What would happen if presents all went away
Tell me what would you find

You'd see that today holds something special
Something holy, not superficial
So here's to the birthday boy who saved our lives
It's something we all try to ignore
And put a wreath up on your door
So here's something you should know that is for sure
Christmas must be something more

We get so caught up in all of it
Business and relationships
Hundred mile an hour lives
And it's this time of year
And everybody's here
It seems the last thing on your mind

Is that the day holds something special
Something holy, not superficial
So here's to Jesus Christ who saved our lives
It's something we all try to ignore
And put a wreath up on your door
But here's something you should know that is for sure
Christmas must be something
Christmas must be something
Christmas must be something more

Taylor Swift


I know I'll post before hand, but Merry Christmas. And the pictures below are Thanksgiving and Prize Giving.